an explanation

So I thought I would add a little extra explanation since the email we sent to family was quite short.

The first thing I should say is the decision to leave Canada was the hardest we've had to make as a couple. We'd been planning this trip for almost a year, went through pain, sweat and tears to get here, and then when things worked out so well when we first arrived we thought it had all been worth it. But over the last few weeks we've learnt a lot about ourselves and come to realise the reasons why, right now, it's better or us to be in Australia...

Were not 23 year old backpackers anymore.
Shan and I have both lived O/S before and for each of us it was a life-changing experience filled with great highs and lows. As much as we made friends we'll have forever and saw things we'll never forget, we also worked jobs we didn't like just to get by, got homesick, had to go through problems without the support of family and friends, and then finally went home knowing we were stronger people, but not ever really wanting to go through some of those experiences again. So over the last few weeks as we've struggled to find work, we've come to the conclusion that at this point in our lives we're not willing to compromise our lifestyle. We had a great life at home, with good jobs, a great apartment and friends we adore and we just want to go back to that. We're getting married and wanting to start a family in the next couple of years and we realise now that although we don't expect everything to be roses and to fall into place when we go home, we have our family to support us and industry contacts that will surely make getting our life started much easier.

Family is the most important thing
We have nephews and a niece we're missing like crazy, and mums, dads, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends we love like family, who are all doing things that we want to be there for and to be a part of. We knew we would miss them, but didn't realise how much of an effect leaving everyone would have on us this time around. Plus, after completing our exciting dream of moving to Canada, we realised that what we really want is to settle down and have our babies. We want the house with a backyard, and Saturday sports, and camping trips with the McFarlane's and Devereaux's, and Christmas's packed with cousins, and birthdays where Uncle Michael buys expensive t-shirts every three year old just has to have. So as much as we were possibly willing to compromise on jobs and salaries, we weren't willing to compromise on making our dream of having a family come true.

I actually want a career right now, not just a job.
Before we left Australia, I felt like I'd finally started making headway in actually having a career and not just a job. With PR being an industry based on media contacts and relationships that can take years to build up, its not the kind of job you can just leave and pick up in another country. I found that when I went to London and I knew it would be the same coming here. With the job market so slow, not only is it hard to get any job in the industry right now, if I did find a job I knew full well that there was a very real chance I would have to take a step back, both in salary and position, just to get a foot in the door. So when this new discussion of a great opportunity at home came up, I felt like it was reminding me how important my career is, for me and our future family. The opportunity at home isn't set in stone, and we're still only discussing options, but if things work out we'll be in a better position in a few months time than we would in a few years staying here. And if this opportunity doesn't work out, then at least I have local contacts and local knowledge that will make it far easier to land a good job sometime in the future. And since we can stay with family until we get set up again, the pressure is off and we won't need to take any job that is offered just to get by.

We want permanency
Maybe it's because we're both girls, but there's some serious 'nesting' feelings going on right now. We want to find a house and stay there, we want to find jobs and stay there, we want to buy things and not think about how well they're going to fit in boxes the next time we move countries. We've both been moving countries for more than 5 years and we just want to stop. We want to take regular vacations and not save every cent for a big move every couple of years. We want to make regular life plans and not have to worry about settling in over and over again. I want our red rug back!!!

So that's all the things we thought about and the things that ultimately helped us to make our decision. We've had a really great time here and will make sure the next few weeks are filled with fun and happiness, but then we will come home and be totally satisfied and ready to get on with the rest of our lives. As our friend Peta reminded us - You gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em! The best thing is we will have no regrets. We would have regretted not coming. But we wanted to do it, we did it, and now we want something else, so we're going to do that.

PLUS now we get to get married this month! We're so excited! We already feel like we've been together forever and know that we'll always want to be together, so it's super exciting to get to have our best Canadian friends with us while we get hitched in the most perfect way. Our plan was to always get married in Canada, no matter how briefly we were here so now we have about 3 weeks to pull it together. We're still confirming details and will post more info once we've locked a few things in. AND we get to go on the most awesome honeymoon - New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco - what's not fantabulous about that?!