a case of the hair

Shan is going to love this post - a whole post about my hair. And by love I mean hate and by hate I mean she might just divorce me unless I stop talking about it. But I can't! I'm one of those girls whose hair is more than just hair, it's part of who I am. And I like talking about it and I like talking to other people about it. Shan isn't one of those girls though. She generally keeps the same kinda hairstyle and doesn't really understand how changes to my hair can be so awesome and traumatic at the same time. She just says that my hair looks good in all styles and that I should just do what I want (which is why I love her so damn much!). But I don't know what I want. This has come up because I'm getting a haircut today, for the first time in several months and it's long enough to be cut into several different styles and I can't settle on one. So I'll give you a brief history of my hair and you can help me decide!

When I was a kid, I thought I was a boy for quite a long time. I had short hair, wore the boys school uniform and I asked my parents to change my name to Fred or Steve. At about 11 I got boobs and the boys started seeing me as a girl instead of their mate so I grew my hair out to look more like a girl and it stayed long for the next 14 years. When I came out, I seriously considered chopping it all off so I would look more 'gay' but I didn't, and I just became one of those lesbians with long hair who likes to wear heels and make-up. That's all well and good, until I realised I was being hit on because I had long hair and that the girls who said they liked me probably wouldn't like me so much if I cut my hair off. How do I know that? Because I asked them, and that's what they told me. After more than a few comments along those lines I seriously began considering cutting it all off again, feeling like it would be a very real kind of freedom. But I'd had long hair for so long now, and had let it be part of how I knew myself, so I was really hesitant.

Two years ago, at a Christmas party, this is how I looked.

6 months later, I met Shan and this photo was taken on our first proper date.

My hair stayed the same for a couple of months into our relationship. Anyone with long hair knows that when it's hot, your hair always just ends up in a ponytail. Living in Queensland, my hair was ALWAYS in a ponytail.


One day, Shan and I were discussing getting haircuts and I mentioned that I wanted to do soemthing different, really different, but I didn't know what. We talked through all different styles, looked at many many websites and finally I decided that if I was going to cut it shorter, then I was going to have to go the whole way and just cut it really short, the way I had wanted for years. Shan, of course, was totally supportive and said that if I wanted to, I should just do it. I did want to, but I was scared. I was actually scared Shan could stop loving me if she didn't like my haircut. Sounds stupid now, but if you've ever dated someone who comments on the way you look every single day, pointing out your flaws (even if you now realise you don't have any ;) ), then you can understand how I could feel like that. But she promised to say I look awesome, so I did it!

And I LOVED it! Not only was it awesome to have hair that could be washed, dried and styled in 10 minutes, I did actually love looking more gay AND I noticed guys stopped hitting on me - a totally unexpected plus!

So my hair was short for quite a while and it looked all sorts of different ways, depending on how long I'd spent on it.

I liked it liked this... I won a lifetime membership to our local gay bar, The Beat, in this outfit.

Long, long sideburns.

mo-hawk!

THEN, I decided, after a not-so-good haircut, that I would grow my hair out again. So 'The Zefron' started happening. But I couldn't handle it, so before we left for Canada, I cut it all off again and was really stoked with the cut. I arrived in Vancouver feeling cool with my 'do.

BUT again, I decided to grow it out and figured that Vancouver is good place to do it as it's much cooler and that makes it much easier to deal with long hair. So the growing out began again...

See my little pony?!

So long!

By the time of our wedding, I had long hair. Well, I think it's long, Shan just laughs when I say it.

And now, 2 months later, this is where we're at. When my hair gets long, my two cowlicks prevent my hair from parting anywhere but in the middle. I also have curls at the sides of my head which show up when I have long hair. So it gets all kinky and middle-parted.
Which is fine when it's really long, but this in-between sucks.

And this is how it looks this morning. Long on one side.

short on the other.

and just all in my face.

Shan has picked out one hairstyle I am going to try, which we think my assist in the growing out more stylishly than it is. But then do I even want to grow it out? I don't know! Maybe I should just shave it and buy a bunch of wigs? If anyone has any suggestions for haircuts that would suit me, please write. I need help!!!

seriously, Shan is going to love this post...